Belonging ♥ (Final Part to For Dear Life)

Avery and I sat in peace for quite a while after I finished telling her about mom. She in turn had told me about her dad, Rory, and all that she remembered about him before he passed away. He seemed like an amazing man, full of life despite the invisible shadow of death that hung over him and shrouded his brain. Avery’s face burst with love and energy as she talked about him - from her description of him, I could imagine exactly what he looked like, even before she showed me a few pictures she had on her phone. 

I would have loved to have met him.

I was just finishing my essay and the murky melted remains of my latte when Avery gently nudged me. When I removed my headphones once more and looked at her, she was smiling and gesturing to the counter. Jade was there, beckoning me with a ‘come here’ waggle of her fingers in combination with her smile.

I scooted out on my side of the bench so Avery wouldn’t have to move, and I made my way up to the counter.

“What’s up?” I asked, tilting my head.

“How are you doing over there?” she asked, nodding towards Avery.

Once again for what seemed like the umpteenth time that day, I surprised myself as I smiled. 

A real, bright smile.

“Amazing, actually.”

“Then…are you maybe ready to meet everyone?” she asked gently, her blue eyes calm.

It was then I fully realized that the shop was nearly empty. I glanced up to the clock on the wall behind Jade: 4:30 PM. If I remembered correctly, the shop closed at five. 

Wow. Time had flown. And for the first time, I hadn’t been so entangled in my worry of keeping an eye on everything around me. 

I lowered my gaze back to Jade, who was now not alone. Grayson was standing at her side, a tentative smile on his face.

“Hi,” I said, smiling at him. 

His baby blues widened in surprise before he burst forth with his boyish grin.

“Hi, Jasper! It’s nice to finally really meet you. I’m Grayson, Jade’s friend,” he said, his voice bubbling over with a warm energy. 

“She’s told me about you,” I said, nodding. “You’re the one who got her the job here?”

“Yup! I met her in one of our courses, and she was so chill and cool. I liked her style, and Chase did, too. She fits right in here,” he said, smiling big at Jade.

“Aww, thanks, Gray,” she said, a light pink on her cheeks.

“It’s true, your sister is pretty awesome,” Chase’s voice came as he joined us, standing beside Grayson and leaning his elbow on top of his blonde hair. 

Grayson ducked from under Chase with a giggle as Chase pretended to lose his balance and fall as his perch left. 

I laughed in spite of myself and Jade looked absolutely thrilled that I seemed to be genuinely enjoying both myself and her friends’ shenanigans. 

“We’re truly our own little family here,” Christina said, now also joining the little circle as she came from the back, wiping her hands on her apron.

“And you’re the Team Mom,” Grayson said, grinning hugely at her.

She sighed lightly and shook her head.

“Yeah,” she said, sounding resigned. “That’s me.”

Chase laughed, and I also heard Avery’s own giggle.

I turned and saw she was now hobbling over to get in on the conversation, coming to a rest beside me. 

“You guys almost done for the day?” she asked, looking between everyone.

“Soon, only about twenty more minutes or so,” Christina said, glancing at the clock and looking around. “I’m gonna wait for another ten before I start truly cleaning up.”

“Just give us the word, Mom,” Chase said, saluting her.

She rolled her eyes a bit as both Jade and Grayson stifled their laughter. 

Just as Christina went to speak again, I heard the door open, and whoever came in had caught her attention. 

A girl entered the shop. She was small like Jade, yet still somehow taller even if only by one or two inches. She had dark brown hair, a burst of freckles on her face, and huge brown eyes. Or maybe they just seemed huge because it was like they were reflecting the sun: they were bright, eager, and warm. She paused in her entrance as she saw all of us standing there, the four employees behind the counter and Avery and I standing in front. She looked a bit confused, but Christina piped up.

“Penelope! Oh my gosh, hi, you came!” 

The girl, Penelope, now smiled when she saw Christina and continued in her journey over to the register.

“Hi, Christina! Yeah, I saw you guys closed at five so I wasn’t sure I would make it over, but I managed to get out of work a bit early and come on by!” she said, her voice light and lilting. 

“I’m so glad! Everyone, this is Penelope. I met her the other day at Stone Circle. She was our waitress,” she explained. 

“Hi, Penelope,” we all said in a chorus, and she giggled, looking between us all.

“Hi, everyone,” she replied a bit shyly. 

“Introduce yourselves,” Christina said in her maternal tone, prompting us all to action.

“I’m Chase, the manager,” Chase spoke, waving his hand at Penelope. “You obviously know Christina, our assistant manager, and these two,” he said, gesturing to Jade and Grayson, “are our valued baristas.”

“Hi, I’m Jade,” Jade said simply, smiling at Penelope.

“Hi, I’m Grayson!!!” Grayson exclaimed, waving vigorously. 

“And this is Avery, my best friend, and Jade’s little brother, Jasper,” Chase finished, pointing to Avery and me. “We were all just chatting and getting ready to close up.”

“Aww, that’s so cool! I don’t have any friends at my work,” Penelope said, smiling a bit sadly. “I just moved up here from Crestline, so I’m still getting adjusted to the area and people. Like Christina said, I met her the other night at Stone Circle. She was there with her friend, and they were both so nice, and she invited me to come and check out Rejavanate!” she explained to us all. 

I noticed Chase and Avery exchange a look, and Christina tried to feign innocence. 

“When were you at Stone Circle, Christina?” Chase asked casually. “And with who? Kyrie?” 

“Oh, on Saturday night,” Christina said breezily. “Wanted to relax, get out, grab some good food and a drink. And no, I just met up with a friend of mine who needed to talk.” 

I noticed Penelope had a light blush on her cheeks. There was something deeper none of us knew except her and Christina. 

Interesting. 

“Anyway, would you like something to drink?” Christina asked Penelope, skirting Chase’s inquisitive expression. 

“I feel like it’s a bit late for too much caffeine,” Penelope said, sighing a bit sadly. 

“Well, we have tea! Not too much caffeine there. Or if you can come another day, I could for sure hook you up with something delicious,” Christina said with the slightest wink in the world. 

Penelope’s blush deepened, and she nodded.

“That sounds good! I really wanted to just come to check the place out and see if you were here,” she said, smiling. “I’m glad I got to meet all of you!”

We all smiled back before Grayson piped up. 

“So, it’s P-E-N-E-L-O-P-E? I wanna know in case I gotta write it on a cup. It’s such a pretty name,” Grayson said, his blue eyes alight. “Do you always go by Penelope or do you have a nickname? Like Penny?”

Penelope wrinkled her nose slightly and shook her head, a light giggle escaping her lips.

“I don’t know why, but I really hated when anyone wanted to call me Penny. I just love my name and how it sounds, so I never felt the need to be called by a nickname. I only once had a few friends who would call me Pendragon because I loved reading and writing so much, but besides that, no ‘real’ nicknames have stuck.”

“Ah, that’s cool! I go by Gray, depending on who is talking to me. Jade doesn’t really have a nickname, but she calls Jasper ‘Jas.’ Avery goes by Ave, Christina goes by Team Mom, and Chase goes by Cha-Cha.”

Chase looked baffled as Grayson proudly pointed to him with his final bullet point on the list of nicknames. 

“No one in the history of ever has called me that,” Chase said, his thunderstorm eyes wide in horror.

 

“Not until now, Cha-Cha,” Grayson said, a jester’s smirk on his lips. 

Chase stared at Grayson with an expression of further alarm as Grayson grinned up at him. 

“Unless you wanna be called Pursuit? You know, instead of Chase,” Grayson said, not breaking eye contact. 

“Oh my gosh,” Jade suddenly said, hiding her smile behind her hands as she let out a small snort. 

Her tiny snort was all it took for everyone to burst into laughter, even me. 

It was then, seeing Jade smile and laugh at her friends’ antics, and feeling my own torrent of laughter pour from my chest that I noticed I didn’t feel so awkward standing there anymore, and I felt somehow…welcome in the circle. Almost as if it were natural that I was included in this conversation, in this little realm of connection. Like I belonged.

I quietly reveled in this new discovery as the group around me continued to clammer over Grayson’s strange dubbing of Chase.

“Please ignore him,” Chase pleaded, looking at Penelope, who was giggling.

“Noted, Cha-Cha,” she said breezily, and we all burst into another fit of laughter.

“And hey, I do have a nickname, just not one that stuck in this circle,” Jade said, shooting a fake-hurt expression at Grayson. 

“You do?” Grayson asked, tilting his head slightly.

“Yeah,” she affirmed, smiling at me briefly. “My mom calls me yùnǚ. It means ‘jade woman’ in Chinese. It also refers to fairies in Chinese legends, which is why I found it so cute you said I looked like a ‘punk rock fairy’ when we first met.” 

“Oh yeahhh, I did say that,” Grayson said, nodding with a huge grin. “And that’s so cool!” 

He turned his attention back to me.

“Do you have something else you’re called besides Jas, Jasper?” he asked. 

I smiled softly.

“My mom calls me bì yù. It means ‘jasper’ in Chinese. She also calls me her ‘crown jewel.’ Jade and I call ourselves the gemstone siblings because of our names,” I said, smiling shyly. 

“That’s so dope!” Grayson said, his eyes wide. “Names are so cool. I love how much they can tell about a person.”

“You’re into that kind of stuff?” Penelope asked, smiling at Grayson.

“Absolutely! I love history and the meaning of things, and people and their stories are fascinating. So, knowing someone’s past and the meaning of their name and just…connecting the dots is so cool,” he gushed. “I know we don’t always get to choose our own names, but I still feel like they are personally meaningful, especially when those we love use and say them and attribute personal meaning to them. Like, it makes my heart soar when I hear Avery call me Gray. The way she says it makes me feel seen and loved. You know what I mean?” 

“I do,” Penelope answered, a soft smile on her face. “I do.”

I noticed a hint of sadness swept behind her eyes when she said that, but her expression returned to normal in just a second. 

We all continued to chat as the time ticked on, and soon Christina commissioned her team to start cleaning the shop. She and Penelope talked for a little while off near the farthest end of the counter, and then Penelope took her leave, bidding us all goodbye. We all waved as she left, and I began to pack up my stuff in my backpack as Avery did the same. Chase came out to pick up her backpack and help her to her feet, and we made our way out of the shop, Christina locking the doors behind us.

Our little ragtag group stood outside as the evening coolness began to set in, the breeze lightly jostling my hair. 

“What a day!” Christina said, stretching her hands towards the sky. “I’m beat. Thanks for all your hard work today, guys!” she said, grinning at Grayson, Jade, and Chase.

“No problem, boss!” Grayson said, saluting her with a goofy grin on his face.

“And thank you guys for opening,” Chase said, smiling at Jade and Christina. “Sorry I came in so late.”

“Ah, well, you had a damsel in distress to save,” Christina said, cocking an eyebrow at Avery, who rolled her eyes.

“I didn’t need saving, I’m just fine,” Avery sighed as Chase lightly poked a finger into her side. She yelped and giggled, almost buckling as she lost her balance from jumping away from his touch. He gently caught and righted her, a bemused smile on his face.

“Oh yeah, you’re just fine,” he said, laughing out loud as Avery stuck her tongue out at him. “And on that note, I’m gonna get you home,” he said, waving to us all as he guided Avery towards the parking lot. “Have a great night everyone!”

“Wait, wait,” Avery said, turning back toward us. She hobbled over and hugged me. I felt my eyes widen in surprise at her touch, but I hugged her back. 

“Thank you so much for talking with me, Jas,” she said softly, squeezing me tight before she let me go. “It was wonderful to meet you.”

I smiled back at her, feeling fuzzy all over from her embrace and use of my nickname. 

“It was great talking to you, too, Ave,” I said, feeling my last bit of shyness melt away.

She smiled at Jade then, hugging her too. 

“I’ll be thinking of you two, and I look forward to seeing you again,” Avery said, now releasing Jade and turning back to Chase. “Bye, everyone!”

“Bye Avery,” Jade now said, looking a bit shocked by receiving a hug from the redhead. 

“Get better, missy!” Christina crowed after her, crossing her arms and looking stern. “Don’t you go getting yourself more hurt!”

“I won’t, I won’t,” Avery sighed, limping away with Chase, who looked back at us and winked. They made their way over to a blue Jeep, and Chase began loading Avery into the passenger seat. 

Grayson yawned widely and stretched before smiling sleepily at us.

“I’m gonna head off, too,” he said. “I’ve got some stuff I’ve gotta do for tomorrow, and I want to sleep. It was really fun meeting and talking to you, Jasper! I’m happy I got to meet my best friend’s little brother,” he said, grinning at Jade and me. 

“It was a lot of fun,” I said, nodding. “I’m glad I got to meet you, too. I’ll be back for sure.”

I noticed in my peripheral that Jade looked thrilled at my words. I smiled to myself. 

Grayson gave each of us a hug, finishing with Christina before he spun on his heel and ambled off. 

“Come back anytime you want,” Christina said, hugging me and Jade. “Obviously Avery has no problem with you sitting in ‘her’ spot, so I’ll be sure to keep it open for the both of you from now on,” she said, smiling at me warmly.

“Thank you, Christina,” I said, smiling back at her. It felt easier to do now. 

She waved as she took off toward her car, and finally, Jade and I were alone. 

“So, you really had fun?” Jade asked, her blue eyes shining. 

“I really did. I like your friends a lot,” I said, grinning. 

“Oh Jas, I’m so glad,” she said, hugging me gently. “I was so worried that you would hate it. But you did so good, and I’m so happy you got to meet everyone.”

“Avery was really, really nice,” I said as we began walking back to her car. “We…we talked for a long time.”

“I looked over at one point and saw,” Jade said, eyeing me curiously. “What did you guys talk about?”

I paused. I was a bit nervous that Jade might be mad that I told Avery about mom. I didn’t know if she had told anyone else about her condition. 

“Jas?” Jade asked gently, looking a bit worried.

“Um…we…I told her about mom,” I said, looking down. 

“You did?” Jade asked, sounding surprised. Not mad. 

“Yeah,” I affirmed, looking back up at her. “She…she told me about her dad, so I told her about mom.”

“Her dad?”

“Oh…you don’t know,” I said, suddenly feeling bad. Was it okay for me to share such private information with Jade? I guess it was since Avery considered her a friend. 

“Today is Avery’s dad’s birthday. He…he passed away when she was little. He had bipolar disorder. She shared that with me and said she has it, too. When I told her about mom, she said she knew stuff about schizophrenia since it’s similar to bipolar disorder, so we ended up talking and she asked about mom…so I told her,” I said quietly, feeling emotion swell in my chest. I raised my hands toward my neck and rested them on my headphones. “She told me about her dad and her own story with bipolar. And…and it gave me hope. That mom can get better, ‘cause Avery is living with it and she’s loved and well and…yeah,” I said, trailing off as I noticed Jade’s eyes were welling up with tears. 

Silence.

“I didn’t know any of that,” Jade whispered, a couple of tears slipping down her cheeks. “I had no idea.”

“She said you and her had just become friends. That things were rough in the beginning? But she likes you,” I said, tentatively reaching out and touching Jade’s arm.

“Avery is really sweet,” she affirmed, nodding and smiling despite her tears. “I didn’t know she had mental illness either…I just knew she was going through some stuff that Chase was helping her with…now I feel awful. For being so mean to her. But that’s in the past, and she forgave me. Now it makes so much more sense…why she wants to stick so close to him. He probably makes her feel safe. Like you and me, right, Jas?” she said softly.   

   

I felt my heart melt a bit.

It was true. I still stuck close to her because she made me feel safe. She reminded me of home. The home I had when mom was well and dad wasn’t so absent in mind and in presence. 

Jade and I against the world. 

“Yeah, like you and me,” I said, smiling softly. 

She gently took my hand and we walked back to her car, settling into our sibling silence that left me feeling comforted rather than isolated. The drive home was peaceful, and when we pulled into the driveway, we saw dad’s black Jeep was there. We looked at each other in surprise. We got out of the car and entered the house, and there he was, sitting on his chair near the entrance with his eyebrows raised.

 

“Hi, dad,” Jade spoke first with a hesitant tone, waggling her fingers. 

“Hello, daughter,” he replied, his tired blue eyes regarding us both, but settling on me.

“Hi, dad,” I echoed, feeling his gaze heavy on my heart. 

“How was school today, Jasper?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow. 

“Um…good, sir,” I said, my voice wavering.

“Ah, was it? I’m guessing it was since I received a call that you were absent today,” he said, now raising both eyebrows as he crossed his arms. 

“I took him to work with me today, dad,” Jade spoke, her tone gentle. “He needed me today.”

Dad looked over at Jade with a bit of surprise, regarding her with now softened eyes. 

“Oh?” 

“Yeah. And he had a great day, right Jas?” she asked, looking at me. 

I smiled.

Again, a real one.

“I did. I had an amazing day, dad. I met her friends and I talked with one in particular. Her name is Avery. She has bipolar disorder, and I told her about mom,” I said, making eye contact with him. I talked freely. I didn’t care to hold back now. 

Dad looked a bit startled by that, looking between the two of us. Then, I noticed his shoulders relax and his stern gaze fully go slack. His arms uncrossed, and he stood.

“Your mom is on both of your minds, huh?” he asked gently, making his way towards us. He put one arm around each of us and pulled us in, hugging us to his broad chest. “I promise you, it’s gonna be okay. She’s going to come home soon.” His voice was tinged with a bit of sadness, but he quickly regained composure, squeezing both of us gently. 

I relaxed for once, letting my dad give me a hug. He was warm, and he felt firm and assuring. I leaned my head into his chest, and I smiled at Jade, who only came up to his stomach. We exchanged a smile and stayed there for a little while in our dad’s arms. 

“So, Jasper, what’s this about an Avery?” he asked, letting us go. 

I smiled wide. 

And I shared her story. 

Hope was alive. 

♥

Image source: Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun by Robico