Third Wish ♥ (Part 2 to Brown-Eyed Girl)
“Don’t forget, the next time you come in, I’ll do my best to hook you up with something delicious,” she said, a sly grin on her face.
I had just giggled, more nervously than out of shyness, and thanked her before saying goodbye to everyone.
They all genuinely seemed like sweet people. I was excited to start my courses at Cragright in the fall so I could spend more time with them and at Rejavanate. I truly did want friends in this new town of mine.
Wish number one: friendship.
Wish number two: an escape.
Wish number three: a distraction.
My bases were covered.
I brushed out my tangled brown hair and stared at myself in the mirror, going through my routine of scrutinizing my face. My skin. My body. Willing myself to feel clean, to feel safe, to feel at home in my bones.
It felt like it grew more difficult with each passing day.
And I thought that time was supposed to heal.
When I finally stopped picking myself apart and slipped on my jean shorts, white strappy tank top, and pulled on my lavender hi-tops, I felt ready for battle. Ready to face the day.
I quickly tapped out a message to Christina.
Hey! I have work off today. I was thinking of swinging by for some coffee today and…maybe a meet up with Mr. Muscles?
I had no clue if she would respond before I left for the shop since her shift had started, but only a few minutes later, my phone chimed.
I opened the message.
Hey, girl! I have no clue if Mr. Jacked-up Jackson is working today, but I can slyly ask Chase what his roomie is up to, if he knows. Hold on.
I sat on my bed and waited, watching my screen for any bubbles to pop up as she replied.
There.
A new message.
Well, well, well, turns out Jackson is working today until one or so. Like I said before, he doesn’t really come over here, but if I staged a little car crisis, he might just show up.
Dang, she was dedicated. She must really think Jackson and I are worth the trouble.
I tapped out a reply.
You’d go through all of that just for me? Haha, you’re sweet. I don’t want to cause any trouble, I can just try to head over to his mechanic shop some day.
Oh no, honey, we’re gonna make this work. Just come on over and we’ll get the ball rolling ;)
I couldn’t help but laugh out loud to myself as I read her text. I really liked her attitude and force of nature-ness. She really was like a mom.
I grabbed my purse and keys and slipped a hair tie onto my right wrist before exiting my bedroom and slipping down the stairs. My parents were already at work, as was my older sister. I liked it when it was quiet in the house. I made myself some peanut butter toast with sliced banana on top and drank a glass of milk on the side. I felt nervous, and my jittery anxiety was slowly rising to the surface, prodding at my mind. I tried my best to keep the intrusive thoughts at bay by counting to ten in my head and taking slow breaths as I slowly ate my breakfast.
I pictured Jackson in my mind. His fawn-brown eyes, disarming smile, cute shyness, his laidback attitude. I knew deep down that I truly did have a crush on him, but my dark side was vying for attention, trying to convince me that I wasn’t worthy of another guy’s love. I seriously almost couldn’t believe that this was even happening: that some girl I had just met was willing to set me up with a guy who I really had barely met. What was more, I didn’t know why I was even willing to go through with it myself with all the baggage and fear and self-loathing that I was carrying from my previous relationship.
The echoes broke through.
Hey…what are you doing?
No, I don’t want to.
Don’t touch me like that.
Please stop.
C******, stop. It’s not funny. I don’t like it.
You’re scaring me.
Please stop, I’m-
I refused to let what came next manifest in my mind. I nearly choked on my milk as I tried to prevent myself from hyperventilating and inhaling dairy into my lungs. I shakily rinsed my dishes in the sink and washed them, scrubbing the remains of the peanut butter vigorously as my mind raced.
Just as I turned to leave, I yelped as something wet pushed into the back of my thigh. I whirled around and was met with the friendly face of my panting golden retriever, Honey.
“Oh my gosh, Honey. Don’t scare me like that,” I breathed, bending down to pet her.
She wagged her tail and laid her chin on my bent knees. She must have come in through the doggy door and realized someone was still home, so she came to say hi. I spent a little more time rubbing her head and scratching her ears as she closed her eyes in bliss. Her soft fur was comforting to the touch, and I felt a little less unsettled now that I had her to distract me from the terrifying thoughts that had almost hijacked my mind.
“Okay, girl, I gotta go,” I whispered, gently pushing her head off of my knees and standing up. “Have a good day, okay?” I said, patting her once more on the head as I turned towards the front door.
Honey padded after me as I stepped out of the door, her tag still lazily wagging. I smiled at her, waved, and then shut the door, locking it. I made my way out into the world, the April sunshine warming over my skin and shining a bit too brightly in my eyes. I squinted as I pulled open my car door and settled myself into the driver’s seat, pulling my sunglasses out from the compartment on the roof of the car. I put them on, started up the car, and pulled out of my driveway, taking a deep breath as I began my journey towards Rejavanate. I had the radio on low and the AC on high, a perfect mix of noise and sensation to keep me grounded as I drove, the green trees bordering the streets beckoning me onward.
It was a beautiful day.
About fifteen minutes later, I pulled into a parking spot in Rejavanate’s lot and exited my car, slinging my purse onto my shoulder and shutting the door. I lightly stamped my shoes on the asphalt, feeling the impact send little shockwaves up my legs. I was still in my body. I was okay.
My heart fluttered as I made my way up to the glass doors of the coffee shop, and I didn’t let myself chicken out as I firmly grabbed one of the handles and pulled the door open. I stepped in and took in the Tuesday morning scene.
There were groups of people scattered around, most of them typing away on laptops or with their eyes scanning over the pages of a textbook. The air smelled of sweet sugar and earthy coffee, and my eyes settled on the lanky form of Chase, who I had met the day before. His dark wavy hair was curled around his forehead and ears, and he was wearing a black button-down flannel under his apron, the sleeves rolled up to above his elbows. He was smiling as he took a girl’s order, a skinny brunette. He laughed lightly at something she said as he swiped her card and handed it back to her, telling her that her drink would be out in just a few minutes. She smiled at him and then turned, making her way over to one of the bar tables where two other girls were sitting, already equipped with iced lattes and open laptops. They must be college friends. I felt a twinge of jealousy as Chase now noticed me, his eyes brightening with recognition.
“Oh, hi, Penelope!” he said, greeting me with genuine cheerfulness. “How are you today?”
“Hi, Chase,” I said, returning his smile. “I’m good, how are you?”
“I can’t complain. Things are good, the sun is out, life is chill, my coffee is strong,” he sighed contentedly. “Christina is in the back doing inventory. I’ll go let her know you’re here. But first, what can I get for you?” he asked, smiling at me.
I giggled lightly and looked past him up at the menu on the wall. I briefly scanned its contents as Chase busied himself by prepping the drink of the girl who had ordered ahead of me.
I really didn’t drink coffee out too much. I had never had any girlfriends to go do Starbucks runs with, nor any desire to sit and study in a coffee shop. I was always paranoid that my stuff would get stolen if I needed to go to the bathroom, or that I wouldn’t be able to focus. I usually drank coffee at home, and didn’t try too hard to make it fancy. Just water, a brew of choice, and a bit of hazelnut or vanilla creamer. That was it.
“Hmm…I think I’ll go with a hazelnut latte with almond milk, please,” I finally uttered, glancing over at Chase.
He finished pouring milk into the cup he was working with and stuck a lid on it, swirling it around as he smiled back at me.
“Awesome! One sec,” he said, now grabbing a straw and setting it on top of the cup. “Hey, Jane! Your honey cinnamon oat latte is ready,” he called out.
The brunette who he had helped before me now stood and practically sashayed over the counter. She took the cup and straw off of the counter and gave Chase a dazzling smile.
“Thank you so much,” she said, her voice tinged with a semi-fake sweetness.
“Enjoy,” Chase replied simply, smiling at her briefly before turning back to me.
I noticed Jane looked disappointed that Chase hadn’t been blown away by her little performance, and she returned to sit with her friends, who also looked sad for her. They must have hyped her up to try to wow him.
Girls. So strange, honestly.
“So, a hazelnut latte with almond milk?” Chase asked, snapping me out of my little reverie. “Would you like it hot or iced?” he asked, typing my order into the register.
“I’ll go with iced, please,” I replied, giving him a small smile.
“Awesome! I’ll get that started right away. Let me go let Christina know that you’re here!” he said, finishing typing up my order and then swiping a card that he produced from his apron through the register’s card reader.
“Uh,” I uttered, having just finished pulling out my wallet and snapping it open to pull my debit card out.
“Oh, no worries! It’s on the house today,” he replied, smiling at me. “Christina's orders.”
“Aww, thank you,” I said quietly, closing my wallet and tucking it back into my purse.
Chase smiled at me over his shoulder as he pushed open one of the double doors and stuck his head into the back. In just a few seconds, Christina came bustling through and out, a big grin on her face. She then screeched to a halt, spun on her heel, and shooed Chase into the back, handing him the clipboard and pen in her hands. He shot me a bewildered look before he disappeared behind the doors, and Christina then turned back towards me.
“Well, hello, hello! You made it!” she said, practically jogging up to the counter and then splaying her hands on it, leaning forward with an eager expression.
“Hi, Christina,” I giggled, smiling at her, feeling a bit nervous all over again.
“So, what I was thinking was,” she said, lowering her voice and glancing over her shoulder to make sure Chase was still in the back. “I was thinking that I could tell Chase that I needed to run home for my lunch break. Then, oh no, my car won’t start! Could you pretty please call and ask Jackson if he could come by to check it out? Jackson gets dispatched on an emergency call, comes on over, and then, bam! You two can talk,” she said, her eyes glowing.
I once again giggled, feeling a slight flush rise to my cheeks.
“You really don’t need to go through all of that for me,” I said, smiling. “I don’t want to cause him any trouble, and I’m not sure that he would be too happy if he found out you were lying about your car not working.”
I swallowed. Was that too forward of me to say?
My worry was dispelled a bit as Christina just laughed and shook her head.
“Aw, it would be worth it though. Jackson can’t stay mad for more than two minutes anyway. But if you’re not comfortable with that, then I won’t do it,” she said, smiling.
“Thank you,” I said, feeling relieved. “Do you know where he works?”
“It’s the little mechanic shop over on…I think it’s a little past the downtown area on Clover Street,” she said, looking skyward as she thought. “Hmm…Morgan’s Mountain Mechanics. That’s the name!” she said, snapping her fingers.
“Cute name,” I said, giggling a bit.
“Yeah, pretty much everything is kind of mountain or rock themed up here,” she laughed, shaking her head. “Speaking of that, do you work out?” she suddenly asked, her eyes lighting up again.
“Um…not really,” I laughed, glancing down at my body, suddenly feeling a bit insecure.
“Aw, I just wondered,” she said, smiling. “My brother and I go to Rock Giant Gym, and so does Jackson. I was gonna say that if you didn’t want to go over to the auto shop that you could join us for a gym session. If you wanted,” she said, still smiling gently. “You already look great.”
I smiled at her compliment, though my stomach churned a bit as my skin lit up. I didn’t really ever go to gyms. If I ever wanted to move my body, I would go for walks or runs, and I would ride horses a lot. My mind began to wander once more, back to that barn. What I did with him in that barn as the horses stared at us curiously.
I shook my head a bit and tried to return her smile.
“It wouldn’t hurt for me to try,” I said. “I’ve never gone to a gym, but I’m open to it!”
“That would be so much fun!” Christina said, clapping her hands. “I usually go on Saturday mornings, if you can go. But anyway,” she said, now glancing at the register. “An iced hazelnut latte? I’ll get that going for you,” she said, sliding behind the espresso machine and beginning to set about making my drink.
I silently sighed, letting out the tension I had been holding in my chest. I truly did feel hopeful that Christina and her little group of friends could become mine. She was granting my first wish, and my second wish was already completed.
An escape.
Rejavante seemed like a good little one. And hopefully Cragright itself would be too, once I started in the fall.
“Hey, Christina,” I said, looking up to the shorter girl. “What’s Cragright like?”
“It’s great!” she exclaimed, pouring the almond milk on top of the espresso she had just put into the plastic cup she was holding. “Very small, laid-back atmosphere. The students are nice, the professors are great, the campus is beautiful, the coffee shop is the best,” she grinned, now snapping a lid onto the cup and holding it towards me. I took it and she then grabbed a straw from under the counter and handed it to me as well. “I think you’ll really like it. You start this fall, right?” she asked, tilting her head, her chocolate-brown eyes inquisitive.
She has brown eyes, too, I realized, my mind plucking out a few notes of the song in tune with my thoughts.
Stop it.
“Yes, I do,” I responded, tearing the paper wrapping off of the straw and sticking it into my cup. I swirled it around a little before taking a sip.
Smooth, sweet, creamy, delicious. The hazelnut wasn’t too overpowering, and neither was the espresso. It was balanced and super yummy.
“That’s awesome! And what are you studying?” she asked, smiling as I stared at my drink in awe. “You like it?” she added, nodding toward my drink.
“I’m studying to be a veterinarian,” I responded, taking another sip of my latte. “And yes, this is so good. Thank you,” I responded, smiling. “And thank you for covering it, that was really sweet of you.”
“Aw, you’re so welcome!” she said, giving me a nod and a thumbs-up. “I’m glad you love it. And a veterinarian, how cool! I love animals too much to be able to see them in pain. Or have to put them down,” she responded, furrowing her brow.
“Oh trust me, me too, but I’ve seen it a lot, and I just have to realize it’s part of life,” I said, looking a bit sad. “I used to ride horses all the time, and I’ve seen my fair share of injuries, illnesses, and the need for them to be euthanized. It’s awful, but if it spares them pain and suffering, I know it’s better for them. I had a favorite pony that I grew up with - her name was Pepper. She was getting on in years, but one day she lost her footing and slipped. She broke her front leg, and I still remember hearing her squeals,” I said, shivering a bit. “It was horrific. The vet came and put her to sleep, and I cried for weeks. Of course, I got the whole lecture from multiple people on how it’s the circle of life, it was better for her to be put to sleep than to suffer, and things like this happen all the time,” I sighed, swirling my drink a bit. “The vet was a bit nicer about it though, and I ended up getting close with her and she taught me a lot. So, I decided I wanted to become one myself,” I explained, smiling softly.
“That’s so awful, I’m sorry that happened to Pepper,” Christina said, her eyes sad. “Yeah, I for sure couldn’t handle that. I don’t even own pets because I’m too afraid of them growing old or sick and having to see them die. I even cry when I see dead possums on the side of the road,” she laughed a bit, looking a little embarrassed.
I giggled and nodded.
“I get it. I have a dog, Honey. She’s a golden retriever, and I love her to bits. It will be hell for me the day she gets old and we have to let her go. But for now, I just focus on enjoying her as she is: young, happy, and slobbery,” I laughed.
“Oh my goodness, Honey is such a cute name,” Christina breathed, her eyes sparkling. “Can you bring her some time so I can meet her?”
“Sure!” I said, smiling big. “She would love to meet you.”
“I’m so excited!” Christina grinned, pumping her fist in the air. “Now, you off to see Jackson?” she asked, her smile growing sly.
I giggled lightly, dropping my eyes and toying with my straw.
Should I go? I really didn't have anything better to do, and my car could use a check-up…
“Yeah,” I said, looking back up at her. “I’ll go get my car looked at,” I said, trying to sound mischievous instead of nervous.
“Heck yeah, girl! Good luck,” she said, waggling her eyebrows.
“Morgan’s Mountain Mechanics?” I asked, trying to remember the name she had given me earlier.
“Yup, that’s it! You got Google Maps or something?” she asked.
“Yeah, I’ll look it up,” I answered, adjusting my purse on my shoulder, trying to keep my composure.
“Awesome! Well, have funnn,” she said in a singsong tone. “Send me an update when you get back home,” she giggled, waving as I began to make my way to the doors once more.
“I will,” I giggled, waving with my free hand. “Bye, and thank you again for the drink.”
“No problem, girl! Consider it payback for that bomb margarita from the other night,” she said, holding her hand over her heart dramatically.
I laughed and waved, pushing my way out of the doors and back out into the sunlight. I sipped at my drink as I meandered back to my car, trying to stay brave. Once I was inside, I pulled my phone out of my purse and opened Waze, typing in ‘Morgan’s Mountain Mechanics.’
An eight-minute drive.
I sat and thought for a moment.
Yes, my car legitimately needed a check-up.
No, I wasn’t going just for Jackson.
Yes, I was nervous.
No, I was not completely sure this was a good idea.
Yes, I wanted to see him again.
I had no idea how it was going to go.
But I wasn’t going to let that stop me.
I stuck my keys in the ignition, turned my car on, took a deep breath, and pulled out of the parking lot.
I began my eight-minute journey towards my third wish.
My distraction.
♥
Image source: Hirunaka no Ryuusei manga by Mika Yamamori
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